This probably wasn't the only reason, but I can reasonably say I lost my first marriage to entrepreneurship. It was awesome to build my business and make money. Even though I saw my relationship crumbling, I figured it would make it through the hard times. However, when that sale was complete, I found myself staring at a complete stranger.
I was so happy to have Susie Miller on the podcast because I believe this is the side of the entrepreneur journey that no one likes to talk about. Lives get consumed, people feel left out, and relationships fall apart on the road to success. It's so important that you understand how to make sure you're maintaining the most important thing in your life, your relationships with your loved ones, as you build your business.
Susie gives us some incredible tips on how exactly to do that!
Susie tells us that when you've agreed you're in start-up, your relationship needs to be on the same page. Understand it's like a drip campaign. Stop in, let them know you still care, and that you're still thinking about them. Even small things like just touching or snuggling can go a long way. You can hold hands like you're dating. Do those small things, even while you're doing the basics like watching t.v.
What other things do you recommend in keeping that 'drip campaign' working? Susie loves to tell people to have a schedule. Although it's not sexy, it's sanity. Make sure you have open times for each other, and it's only in the case of an emergency that this time slot falls through. Don't depend on your relationships just to be fluid, make the time for them, just like you make time for every thing else. You do have to learn to have a moment where you say no to the kids too, so you can make that time to be with each other. Susie is a big fan of having something to do together.
Susie even recommends, unless you're a big person (size wise), to get a Queen sized bed. It's really impossible to not touch while you're sleeping, and that touch part is so important.
I love this understanding that your life will have cycles. There will be seasons where business might be a little more important, or the kids might be more important. It's important for everyone to understand this flow and seasons, so everyone is in sync.
Now how about kids? How do you maintain this balance as you're building a family and a business? You have to look at what your kids require, and just be honest with yourself about that. Every mom, at some level, feels like she's not doing a good job.
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We're all going to make mistakes as parents. The other big piece is to realize, as moms, is that you can't do it all. However, you can be 100% focused on being a mom, when you're being a mom, and 100% on the business, when it's business time. Let yourself off the hook by not lowering the standard, but shifting the standard.
As Susie, says put down the bat and stop beating yourself up. What changed her was thinking about all the energy she was spending, not just beating herself up, but then from recovering from it. Watch what you're saying to yourself because kids hear it. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be confident. There's nothing wrong with having confidence and a sense of purpose.
You will always fail, but what about excellence?
You can find more about Susie and her upcoming book: susiemiller.com
More About Susie: Susie Miller known internationally as The Better Relationship CoachTM is an Author, Speaker and Coach. As a therapist turned coach, Susie is dedicated to helping you create better relationships in 30 days or less, even if you’re the only one who cares! For over 20 years, she has helped people reduce stress, improve communication, increase intimacy, and have better relationships with each other, themselves, and God.
Susie also coaches entrepreneurs & executives to create strong marriage and family relationships, while simultaneously building a successful business. She believes “relationships are the currency of today” so creating better ones is vital to success in all areas of life.
Susie is the author of Listen, Learn, Love: How to Dramatically Improve Your Relationships in 30 Days or Less!, which offers practical advice & actionable steps to quickly improve your personal and professional relationships! Susie has appeared on NPR, Success in the City, PLUS numerous podcasts and radio shows. She is an in demand speaker and an engaging emcee featured at various national events and conferences.
Susie is a cancer survivor; her story includes overcoming numerous life challenges, but she’s known for her outlook on life as a “possibilitarian”. Susie has been married to her best friend, John, a serial entrepreneur for 32 years. They have 3 adult children, and live in the DC area.
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